La Vie en Rose

Two Years!

2011-06-12T17:24:00.001+08:00

In the Queue

2009-06-08T12:12:00.060+08:00

For many years now i have tried to avoid traveling on the roads during school holidays and festive seasons...even managed to keep out of the way on long weekends. But my niece Lina and her brother Epo were getting married, one after another, a week apart...been too busy to actually be of much help with the preparation so wanted to really be there for the kenduri...so off we went on friday morning, early for Mona's munchkins, ten forty seven to be exact.

The trip up was not bad at all...may be because we started very late by morning travelers' standards and much too early to be joined by the afternoon travelers. But it was a good drive, the munchkins were in high spirits, sitting with me in the back, snacking and looking at trucks and buses. After a few times of "Are we there yet?" they resigned themselves to singing with Yusuf Islam until nap time.. Took a break at Temerloh. There was a small queue at the Ladies' but it was OK, not a long wait. Even the makan was OK. It was a relaxing stop except for the gulai telur incident where i had my rice swimming in a 'bucketful' of kuah with half an egg... It was too hot and too soon after lunch to stop at our family favourite...Aziz Satar. There were too many people with too few seats, despite the expansion...so we tapau some satar and otak-otak and told Encik Aziz we'd be back for more on the way back to KL...

Before long it was Teluk Bidara and Rantau Abang...and then we arrived at my kampung halaman .... queing only twice, at the traffic lights in Batu Buruk and Mengadang Akar...the ever busy places in KT.

Our kampung house had been transformed for the kenduri...new driveway, coat of paint on the walls inside and out, new curtains, the pelamin and the bilik pengantin! i had not been back in the house since Toktok passed away...just as well that everything was so different...cheerful greetings from the long queue of nieces, nephews, grand nieces and grand nephews soothed away the sudden pang of longing for Toktok's smile.

D-day began with a mini havoc of what time everything was to take place... Epo's menyambut menantu, Lina's akad nikah and the big kenduri...who will go to the masjid terapung...who will stay at home to welcome early guests...?

At the mosque, there was a long queue of couples to be married and their entourages but we were well ahead. As soon as the Kursus Haji ended, Lina was escorted in and Ayah Jak started the whole process. Everything went so smoothly and then it was time to go home for the kenduri and meet the guests...Lina and E'i in green while Epo and Ani in pink.

It was an extremely hot and sunny day. Most guests did not linger because each had as many as ten invitations for the same time. Later in the day, guests came and went without partaking the nasi minyak because ours was their sixth house, or seventh. Someone said the queue on the Jambattang was really long, it took 2 whole hours to get from Gong Badak to Bukit Besar....

Sunday! and it was time to go back to KL. The munchkins weren't happy as too little time had been spent at the beach; but their Mama must work on monday. Goodbyes all around and a promise of raya in KT, then off we went; much later than planned, as expected!

Traffic was heavy even as we set out. Long queues at the keropok stalls; but knowing too many folks are eagerly awaiting fresh keropok from KT, we braced ourselves and waited our turn. The bonnet begged for mercy when at last we stowed our purchase; just a tiny space left for the other compulsory items, otak-otak and satar.

We got to Warung Aziz Satar just after 2pm, too many people and too long a queue. Persuaded that our order would be filled in half an hour, we waited and ate some laksam and sotong gct (goreng celup tepung) ehem, fried calamari. An hour later, a disappointment. Simply not enough satar for everybody! so we took whatever was available and went on our way again. Alas, our man at the wheel took a wrong turn and we joined the highway after having made it pretty close to Sungai Lembing!

By the time we got to Lanchang a jam had formed; the 2-lane highway reduced to a one-lane track; stone-faced people were making 3 lanes out of 2, a guy in a Merc giving them the finger but why bother, Malaysia Boleh!

The munchkins were getting restless and showing some attitude despite being bribed with lollipops and inundated with coke!

No more stops for us; at every one of them there were too many people in the q's, just have to hold the p's!

A whole hour or so later the road was fairly clear, but not for long. As soon as we came out of the Genting Sempah tunnel it was a crawl again. There was a festive mood somehow, at every rest stop and all along the road both ways. We joined the crowd, snaking our way downhill, all the way to the DUKE highway and home....a long, long journey of ten hours!

Another Saturday in Geneva

2009-05-10T05:22:00.011+08:00

Les Samedis aux Geneve can be very boring and lonely. So if like me, you are alone on a weekend in between meetings, be prepared to be creative or settle for less. This time of the year though, being alone in this fair city by the lake is quite bearable even if your friends and countrymen have heavily hinted of being tres occupe and bade a firm a lundi just before lunchtime on friday.

So there I was, really at a loose end, after having checked out of one hotel and checked into another and being disappointed for not getting a room with a clear view of Mont Blanc and Vieille Ville. Really not in the mood to complete the report or unpack or let such a beautiful day go to waste! So down to the lake i went, to take advantage of the free pass for hotel guests courtesy of the public transport authority. Made ambitious plans to take the bus, the tram and the boat and wander around till the sun goes hiding...well, we'll see.

Took the bus and stopped at Secheron to trek down the park as far as the Perle du Lac restaurant and walked back again all the way to Quai du Mont Blanc, then onto the yellow and red boat to Geneve Plage and walked around the teeny weeny bit of sandy area wherefrom this part of the lake got its name. Too far to walk to Jardin Anglais, so au bateau back to Port des Muettes. What a lot of people, what a sunny, breezy day! Well, one can only ride the mini train to Jardin Botanique or Vieille Ville, or stare at the Jet d'eau and read all the names of famous watch makers on the skyline, so many times...Omega, Piaget, Hans Leutenegger, Tissot, Franck Muller... i remember checking out the prices of Franck Muller watches on my first visit and read with amusement, prix a partir de CHF35,000/=...The chill came quickly to a tropical being compared to these locals and temperate tourists, and it was not solely because of the sudden gust of spring breeze on the lake.

There was still a few hours of sunlight left, and to get warm, retail therapy would be the best option. Walked to Stand (that's pronounced exactly the way my kampung folks in Teganung say Sungai Tong in a hurry) and found myself on the tram to Moillesulaz to stop at Bel-air. Yes, that is the name of Geneva's own Oxford Street/Newbury Street/5th Avenue/Rodeo Drive/Orchard Road/Jalan TAR (some time back) /Bukit Bintang/The Curve; you got the idea! Well the glitter of Globus and Bongenie was not for me, a Prada or Longchamp would look somewhat suspect or at most, a clever first copy on me! So cuci mata at affordable Swatch and ambil bau at L'Occitane, then just let these mocs take me to their happy place, the cafe in fnac, for some iced tea and live music. Oh, this is a French/Suisse equivalent of Borders, my favourite shop in all of Geneve after les chocolatiers.

The bartender who also held the key to the WC pretended to dutifully escort all ladies in need to answer nature's call. Some light-hearted banter in broken French finally got me the iced tea and vegan quiche, then back to listening to a heavily accented Mary Jane and some pseudo Jason Mraises by the 3-piece band, till the tea and quiche became history. So off i went down to the rez (de chaussez) where they had moved the CD section. First the recommended songs, some jandb's, then the new world/African and Latin, no, no rap, some violin concertos and back to Jazz. One by Melody Gardot kind of set the mood for the evening...nostalgic words but not sad, of being alone but not lonely and mostly of missing the ones that make the heart smile.

I wandered out of fnac at closing time, the sun still smiling and i was in dire need of a seat so boarded a passing tram to nowhere. Well, it turned out to be the one for Moillesulaz again so i rode all the way to the terminus near Caran d'Ache hq, then back all the way out to Avanchet on the other side of the lake, arriving outside my hotel at Gare Cornavin, just in time for maghrib. Some salmon pizza from Manor to smooth the report writing, a little unpacking and a half-hearted attempt at uploading the photos...then it was bed-time, dreaming of a Sunday in the sun.

Kampung Tanpa Halaman

2009-05-03T09:25:00.008+08:00

Wish I were with Zara. I am a bad, bad grandmother. Zara is going to be 2 weeks old and I have yet to see her. Well, the truth is, I am not a very assertive person. I just don't know how to broach the subject with my boss or go into HRMIS and apply for a whole week's leave right after returning from a three day most needed vacation of sorts in my kampung tanpa halaman (village without compound). True, I seldom go on leave other than the occasional medical and there remains a total of 69 days to my name, but assertion is not my middle name. So I have not gone to see 13-day old Zara.

It is a love-hate relationship of sorts that I have with that place south of the border I call my kampung tanpa halaman. So many reasons to hate yet many more memories to love, the way I love my 3 year stay on the 25^th floor of Great World City. Yes, a building is a city there but well, a village to me. Spent 3 hari raya eid-ul-fitr in that kampung and made real nasi dagang. And since down on the ground there is no compound to shout about, actually up to 5 floors below my apartment is a shopping complex, it is to be sure my kampong tanpa halaman.

That April visit was the first time I was back there since I left, walking down memory lane with precious people from that part of the past doing the things we used to do then,......going to Tong Seng for chicken rice then ice cream in the mall, and to River Valley for nasi padang, and hang out all afternoon at the bookstore until it was time to wander into the restaurant for dinner and then spill out into the crowd on Orchard Road for that long, long walk back to the hotel.

Anyway, I could not make the short non-chalant walk up to the boss to ask for leave after that holiday, neither could I bring myself to ask for a week or so off to go see my Zara this month, since I'll be away from office close to a fortnight, to attend meetings at my other kampung tanpa halaman. Yes, I go to this place so often, it does feel like I am going back to kampung! But almost always, I stay in a hotel, no halaman, just Rue de Lausanne outside the hotel.

So here I am sitting at the concourse of St. Pancras international, wondering what Min and Eez thinks of their Mama and one day, what Ary and Zara will think of their TokTok. I hope they forgive their yellow-bellied grandmother who has been forming a whole gamut of feeble excuses and laughable reasons for not applying for the time-off and making arrangements to go to Doha and see them.

The gentleman sitting beside me on the flight over was actually visiting his brand new grandchild here in London, before he flies off to New York. He is even worse off than I am, even though I say so myself. It took him 4 months to come see his grandchild who was born in January. But will I break or match his record? I pray neither! I will go see Zara soon, well before she is 4 months old and goes home to her kampung halaman for the summer and hari raya.

Welcome Little Zara@Peanut

2009-04-20T01:07:00.002+08:00

So the last time i posted anything on this page was 4 August last year....ape mimpinya hari ni rasa nak menulis?!

I received the news at 5.20pm Malaysian time....A tiny little bundle of anugerah Allah arrived in Doha today, all of 3.135 kg of joy to Eez and Amin and may be Abang Ary!...Alhamdulillah! Baby and Mummy doing really well, i'm told...Alhamdulillaaah....

Been going back and forth between Flickr and Facebook, waiting for her photos...but i guess the happy Daddy has not had a free moment to get the photos up yet.

I should go to bed...Good night little Zara, it's morning really...will tell you all about how it feels to be your grandma next time!

Almost Full Quorum

2008-08-04T02:22:00.003+08:00

This feels rather strange, writing this post, i mean. It's the same feeling i had the last time i tried writing again after stopping for a couple of weeks; present case being four.

Well, a lot of things have been happening in the country, contributing to my getting nauseated by the antics of the players and the commentaries of most of the onlookers. In a way, i have been waiting for the nausea to subside before writing again, so the sick feeling in my stomach does not become too obvious. I would like to maintain a certain dignity here and not stoop to slander and vulgar language in my posts.

And life has been going on comme d’habitude for me.

Two Saturdays ago Chah and i were at the airport again, waiting for Eez and Ary to come home from Doha. We had to hurry from the car park as the flight had landed when we arrived at KLIA. But it was a long, long wait at the railings again, more so because i just could not wait to see my one and only grandson, Zachary.

Well, it took Eez a whole hour to come out through the glass doors at Arrivals. That must have been a major feat too, considering poor Eez was all alone, handling the suitcases, and of course Ary. All the placard men had gone and the meet-and-greet area was quite empty when i heard a child crying and saw this little head with rather sparse hair bobbing along the glazed part of the glass wall before reaching the doors. True enough, it was a very tired and grumpy Ary on the trolley being pushed by an equally exhausted Eez.

It took a couple of hours for Ary to do the salam with me, and a couple of days to run to me and give a High Five, or allow me to carry him. Getting reacquainted with Ary took so much longer than i thought it should as i kept disappearing to go to work, coming home only to find that it was well past Ary’s bedtime. First i had to work on that particular Sunday before the Green Room Briefing, then work into the nights for the rest of that week and the whole of this last one; a mad scramble to meet the MAD deadline.

This job as Government Servant, especially in guarding the country’s economic interest, is sheer hard work, contrary to what most people would like to believe. Sometimes, work even comes before family. So can you blame me for getting nausea attacks when irresponsible people behave in ways that would make us regress into oblivion?

Well, this weekend i semi-vegetated, just to recover. It has been a particularly nice weekend, really. Amin is finally home from Doha and with Eez and Ary, the three of them are back from Jelebu. We semi-celebrated Eez’s and Tok-tok’s birthday after JayJ got caught with the surprise cheese cake. And because Chah has gone diving again, we are only almost in full quorum!

Search Your Hearts

2008-07-06T11:42:00.005+08:00

Well, a whole week has passed, and the hearts have not been back. I don’t just want the new ones, i want the old ones back…OK, we’ll give it a bit more time….may be email those good people again…

In the meantime, thank you Cak, AG, Lee, TLady and Ka for visiting and leaving comments; thank you to those who left without a comment too, well may be next time, when you have time.

The feedjit has informed that unidentifiable non-my visitors to this page include ones from Metz, Lorraine, fr; Cambridge, Ma, us; Toronto, Ontario, ca; Cairo, Al Qahirah, eg and Norfolk, Va, us.

Sad to say, although they all sound quite familiar, and Min, Eez and Ary went to Cairo late last year; and i went here http://www.norfolk.gov/about/ to see if I’d been to Norfolk; i have really only been to one of these places, i.e. Cambridge, Ma. Actually that is the place Quan, the twins and i stayed for an entire year, just over a decade ago.

Do I want to write about our life in Cambridge, Mass today? Oh it was a whole lifetime ago….may be next time.

Today i need to finish my Brief. It’s a long brief, yes this is a long brief, made longer because it has to be jargon-free and can be read and understood by non-practitioners.

What? Work on Sunday? Not a habit, just simple accountability and responsibility.

And that is not as much as i can commend most people with, these days, not even simple a&r. And the sad thing is, this absence of a&r is the very thing that is bringing shame, bringing this beloved country of ours down. I'm no so-po blogger so i'll let others do the talking while i can still contain my wrath.

In the meantime, search your hearts!
Well, see u in my next write!

Help! Hearts All Gone!

2008-06-30T03:28:00.002+08:00

Allow me, if you please, just a little bit of vanity and pray with me that it does not turn into a worse fault. But should you experience something similar, do drop me a line, or if you prefer to let it remain a secret, it's okay too. After all, this is also a test of my ability to laugh at myself.

Judge me all you want but as a 'new kid on the blog', i have been fascinated by the pink and blue map on my side bar that tells me who have been visiting this page. Well, it actually only tells me the place where the hit has been made from, not the url, so anonymity is preserved. All the same, the places that appeared when i placed my curser on the pink 'hearts' have been simply fascinating. Kudos to the creative people at the amung.us project. Fantastic job! Makes me feel as if i was traveling without moving!

In the beginning i was simply delighted to see visitors from Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan; Bandar Maharani, Johor; Dungun, Terengganu; Penang, Kerteh, Semenyih, Seremban, Melaka or just simply Malaysia. Then, some time last month the 'hearts' informed that i had 2 visitors from Mountain View, California. I started wiki-ing the place to see if i had been there before, may be on my way to a factory outlet when i was in SF last year. The thrill of having visitors from the Silicon Valley was short-lived, though, as i came to realise that it was where Google HQ is situated. I am guessing that it must have been some visitors with another kind of interest, perhaps, or no interest at all. Ah, well...

The hearts kept increasing to a modest number, which soothed my ego no end, despite the fact that only one or two visitors left comments. On the Europe part of the map i had hearts marking visitors from Sant Just Desvern, Spain; Amsterdam Noord, Netherlands; Ile-de-France region, France; Nyon and Genve , Geneve; Madrid, Spain; Lisboa, Portugal; and in the UK; London, Sheffield, Bristol and Southampton. I started toying with the idea of writing about some of these places, the ones that i have visited, but well, time enough for that in the future, i thought.

Then on the American continent there were stars marking Burnaby BC, Ontario and Calgary, Canada while Vancouver was marked as Vancouver US...really? Anyway i have been to Vancouver about 3 times, and i had a friend who owns a hotel in Victoria on Vancouver Island, but we lost touch. Pity. But the sock-eyed salmon and portobello mushroom BBQ at my friend's in Burnaby remains unforgettable.

Moving down, there were hearts marking a few places in California, all the way down to SF, Azusa, LA and Baja, was that CA or TX? though i cannot imagine someone offroading in TX and rolling the blogs at the same time! Then moving eastwards there were hearts in Idaho and Kansas but i have forgotten the names of the towns/city, Pompano Beach Florida, South Carolina, Atlanta Georgia, Pennsylvania, Brooklyn New York and Natick, Mass, of course. There was even one heart at Santiago, Chile. Interesting.

In Asia, there were hearts indicating visitors from Ivanovo, Russia; Teheran, Iran; Istanbul, Turkey; Bangalore, Karnataka and Mumbai Maharashtra, India; and Male, Maldives. There was also indication of visitors from Bangkok, Thailand; Singapore and Brunei DS as well as one each from Hong Kong SAR and Japan.

I remember the last few visitors were from Morocco and Sydney, Australia; and New Zealand. That was about 2 days ago...now my map is empty of all hearts. "No Visitors To Display" Whaaattt?! And i am wondering...what on earth happened and what should i do? HELP!

Baby's Home

2008-06-21T06:47:00.010+08:00

It was the longest wait ever at the KLIA arrival area. My baby girl Aisyah was coming home!

The last time i had seen her was in March at Milano Centrale, holding hands with Aieda, waving goodbye as the TGV took me back to Geneve.

And that had been a very good visit as we drooled all over the shops at the Galleria and Monte Napoleone and went shopping where we could afford, apa nama pasar tu ek, Kak Ngah?

Took a day trip to Venezia too but everybody forgot to recharge the cameras and the mobiles and by the time we got to Realto, we had to buy the pakai buang Kodaks. It was the holiday mood, i guess, or may be Kak Ngah's cooking. No, definitely not old age. Thank you again, Aieda, Kak Ngah and the handsome Syeds who loved Nacho Libre.

Before that, there had also been a long wait, sitting at the Nottingham Railway Station after coming off the East Midlands train, waiting for Aisyah to come and get me. It was the first time seeing her after she left last September. That was the time i saw my baby girl in her element, at her place in Notts, studying her cute *** off while i slept in her bed until it was time to get up and eat. I had dropped by for a couple of days with all the good intention of cooking for the girls but ended up being pampered by them, 5 future doctors no less.

We did go walkabout the Jubilee campus and a l'hopital but gave Robin Hood a miss. Well, may be next time, kalau ada rezeki.Jubilee Campus on a Weekend

It was a strange view from this side of the railing, unlike those times when i was the one coming home, walking out of the glass door as fast as possible, trying to avoid the expectant look on the faces of those carrying the placards with many a misspelled name or marital status or worse still, the wrong gender.

Then i saw my darling daughter, smiling broadly, which was a relief. Hugs all around and off we went, chatting (chattering, Chah?) all the way home. We are not done with the catching up yet, but we do have three whole months!

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T23:18:00.004+08:00

This post is going to be very short

Just to say a very special Happy Father's Day to my son
Who has been a father for well over a year now
And is proving to be the best Daddy Ary could ever ask for
And Eez could wish for, for her son
We all know you always try your best, Min
I say this as a compliment and a prayer
Hang in there, Min,
Savour every moment, everyday
Every step of the way!

With all my love and my prayers
Mama

Post Hike Driving

2008-06-15T09:56:00.010+08:00

It has been a week since the petrol price hike announcement. Actually, a little more than an entire week has passed. So is everybody adjusting? Trying to? A little?

People in general are actually making changes; some making big ones like fixing a new tank to go natural, or some making small ones, say in driving habits, for example. It is not just my imagination, as confirmed by colleagues and my sons, that the degree of politeness among KL drivers, and i am one, has risen tremendously since that fateful Wednesday.

Take for example my daily drive to work.

Just like any other self-respecting driver, I would be pressing on the accelerator the moment i hit the main road, braking at the very last minute, even though i am going down a fairly steep hill, just as the light is turning red at the Beringin-Setiamurni junction...yup, i too have asked the questions: what? amber? when? Amber is a colour?

Nowadays, though, i join other well-advised drivers and start to brake from as far away as possible. But this particular junction is busy as always, except that now it remains safe and accident-free even with the merah-hijau-kuning going caput... at least i think that's the main reason why they have not repaired it for so long, but there lies another tale!

Anyway, as i proceed further down where the road gets wider, where i used to have to slam on the brakes again to avoid running into people who think you can read their minds, i now actually see them flashing their signal lights way before they turn into the SC!

Moving further down the road, i would still find some drivers who cannot get rid of their queue-cutting habit, especially coming down the highway exit in front of the Science Center, where logically there should not be any queue since the road goes from one into three lanes within a distance of five meters, but really, these days, the number of such drivers has noticeably reduced. Surprisingly, logic is starting to prevail.

But the miracle of the new era of politeness is to be found under the bridge where one must turn right unless one is an equestrian or is a fan of those concerts by well known and not so well known foreign artistes. Where it has always been a case of "go first if you dare!", it is now obvious that people can at last tell the difference between right and left, and therefore, who has the right of way.

Driving further, the pedal-to-floor moment would come as soon as i clear the slip road and make it to the highway. I used to refer to it as the freeway because it is the only patch of highway that i can get in and out of without paying troll ...oops toll (pinjam kejap ya, Cak and Cak's friend who i also want to be friends with), but no longer. Current prices being what they are, even the word free should be banished from our Perbendaharaan Kata!

Still, there are no more pedal-to-floor moments, for me and apparently for other well-advised drivers too. We politely let others on our right go first, then, signal lights having been flashing for some time without being honked at by the driver of the car behind, make our way out of the slip road....yes, really, believe it or not!

Then, at the junction with the road that leads to either Mont Kiara or the other highway, no longer is there a two lane queue affecting people not making the turn, except for those humongous trucks who just cannot wait in line like everybody else. But that is exactly the point here. They will not be persuaded into politeness because they are not paying for the diesel that they guzzle. Anyway, let us hope that at least their towkays have become more polite, which i believe they have, if they are also driving on the roads that i have been observing.

Then of course, there is the interchange where i exit my not so free way to join the crowd that has just exited the NKVE at Duta (not the singer). Before that fateful Wednesday, this is the place where a mini grid lock would form for no apparent reason, or for as flimsy a reason as a biker stopping on the triangle to adjust his helmet. This is the place where complete strangers exchange the most negative gestures and salutes, but no longer.

Here, one has to slow down because it is the right time to gently apply the brakes as advised, since the curve is pretty sharp and what lies beyond is invisible. Then down the slope, where people have to decide whether they are going right or left, i can almost hear the one going from left to right ever so politely saying "you go first laaa..." to the one going from right to left, and the latter even more politely saying " you go first also caaan..." to the former! yes, really, even men drivers have become polite nowadays, but let's not go there now!

From this point on, it would be plain sailing to the office. I would no longer expect some young men in their gentuus and maivees cutting in right in front of me from the next lane, or some older drivers flashing their left signal lights but going right instead... and even if there is still the occasional queue-cutter, those humongous trucks excluded, i can generously say the car is not from these parts, or less generously say, as it would be obvious, that it is after all an SUV from south of the border.

May be later today i'll get my partner in crime to go for a drive just to show her i pun dah insaf, and that she no longer has to press on her imaginary brake pedal or check her blood pressure after our outing.

It truly is nice to have so many more polite and considerate drivers on the road these days, but rather sad that it takes a 40% hike to make us think of others. But hey, what others? it's our own pockets we are really thinking of, and that’s no sin!

Y'all drive slow now, y'hear?! And get there safe.

Tell Me Why

2008-06-07T23:47:00.004+08:00

The thing about these past few saturdays is that they are very good for vegetating. Take the one i spent watching the American Idol Marathon, which of course took up all of the next day as well, but it was well worth the sacrifice of not going out to the shops. Besides not spending beyond the call of a shopping list as i would usually have, i also managed to persuade the boys to finish all the foodstuff that is still in the freezer. And how i love the Idol; Simon Cowell in particular, always a masterpiece of minimum number of choice words with maximum impact!

Then there was last saturday. I had the grand plan of surprising my partner in crime for our used to be once a month or so petit dejeuner ensemble but i woke up with a really bad cold. So what choice did i have but to vegetate again. And I did, by watching a total of 253 videos on utiub. It is a shameful way of spending a weekend but it did rid me of the cold in time for an extremely busy week.

So here we are, close to the end of this present saturday, which has not been spent vegetating, but more or less. The truth is, i am still trying to recover from the shock of the petrol price hike, so shocked was i that i didn't even bother to join the queue last wednesday night. And the fact that crude price has gone up and up and expected to go all the way up to 150 does not make it any easier to fathom the future.

Someone on TV said it is all a question of supply and demand. To stabilise the price, demand must be kept down through drastic changes in consumption as production can no longer be increased, but traders are also to be blamed as they do gamble on the surges in price. There we are, then. Gamblers are bringing down countries again? But really, it is all very confusing even for the pseudo-economists among us, and it does nothing for the folks who are faced with the sudden reality that they can no longer make ends meet no matter what the explanation may be.

There are many more questions that i need answers to; like what Obama meant when he used the three big words including the word hadiah all in one sentence? Or are the geng 8 coming up with something new or just same old, same old, all in their own aid and noone else's?

Well, i am going back to vegetating, while looking for more learned answers, the unadulterated truths, from the wisest of the wise. Or is it meant to be, that Mr. Cowell alone is the definitive yoda?

Emilie Simon--La Vie en Rose

2008-05-31T21:21:00.001+08:00

Celine Dion - La vie en rose

2008-05-31T20:42:00.001+08:00

Edith Piaf - La vie en rose (in English)

2008-05-31T20:36:00.001+08:00

Stage Fright

2008-05-31T10:05:00.002+08:00

Funny how a certain something that crosses one's mind at a certain instant brings one back to the far, far away of one's childhood. I cut my finger in the kitchen a minute ago and while rummaging through an inadequately stocked first aid box, started singing…

Biar luka dalam dada
let the wound be in this heart
Biar derita jiwa tersiksa
let it suffer, this tortured soul
Apa guna kata mesra
what is the use of loving words
Menambah luka
deepening the wound
Di dalam dada
within this heart
Biarlah aku pergi
just let me go
Tak usah kau cari lagi
Don’t you come searching anymore
Rela aku berkelana
submit I have to being alone
Dengan hati ku
With my heart
Yang hancur luka
into pieces broken

The school was putting up the annual concert on Prize Giving Day. In a previous school, I had been dancing and singing once or twice, and my new teachers could have heard of the potential there. So it was that a budok joh nnang (child in standard six) marched me to the staffroom to see the teacher in charge, Cik Gu Samsu, and before I knew it, I was in a vacated classroom, facing the band that came for the practice session the day before the concert.

I sang the first line as asked. “Cu tera A minor” (Try A Minor) the kindly Cik gu suggested and a balding man who appeared to be the band leader obliged on his guitar. “Ye gamok, …doh lloh ah” (Right maybe …let’s do it) said the lead guitarist, turning to nod at the drummer. “A wang, tuu, trii…” (A one, two, three…) and the band started playing. I was terrified, had never sang with a band before, but saw Cik Gu Samsu nodding his head, right arm raised. Nod, nod, nod then down came the arm as if sending me off on the hundred meter dash on Sports Day. I took the cue and started singing…”Bi yya lukkaa, ddaa laang daa daa…” (Biar luka dalam dada).

It was a great relief to get to the end of the song. The band was still playing and Cik Gu Samsu was still nodding away, eyes closed. I stole a glance at the guitarist but he seemed to be busy comparing his guitar with the rhythm guitarist, like they always do while performing, playing to each other. So I looked at the drummer to come to my rescue which he did, with the “doong, doong, doong” of the drum followed by the “cheay” of the clashing cymbals, he pointed to me, drumstick in hand, and I started singing all over again to the end, then the band faded to a proper close.

“Skali agi ah…..dok soh ccakak teganung, ccakak luor….nynyanying macang Saloma tu ‘o! Hoh ambek mai’k ning” (Once again….lose the Trengganuspeak, use the standardspeak…sing like Saloma…take this microphone) Cik Gu Samsu said, a little advice, more reproach, while he handed over the microphone. We did the song again, twice, and I could feel the confidence building up each time, although I could not hear myself over the din of the band and I still depended on the wise Cik Gu to start singing. Before leaving, he intimated, “Esok Cik Gu dok ccacang ka’k pitu nning, awok atah steh tengok ttang Cik Gu biar Cik Gu wi sigena, pahang do’k?” (Tomorrow I will stand up at this door, you on the stage must look my way let me give the signal, understand?) I nodded, made doubly sure of which door to look at for his cue, and ran all the way home to break the news of the imminent stardom, the sound of applause already ringing in my ears!

Sekolah Pusat Bukit Besar (Bukit Besar Central Primary School), although new, did not have a hall. For the weekly assembly we stood in rows facing the flagpoles in a small tarred area between the two single storey blocks. So for the concert, the bright green collapsible partitions separating our classrooms were pushed to the side walls, some tables were arranged at one end to form the stage while the chairs were placed in rows, a dozen on each side of a central aisle, and hey presto! A concert hall it was!

Concert day came as anticipated. The hall was filled to the brim with pupils from both the morning and afternoon sessions together. Parents came too, some with their toddlers, others with parents of theirs and their neighbours. Right after prize giving the seniors sang and did a sketch, and then it was my turn, the first solo performance for the afternoon.

The walk up the stage was brisk, followed by a prim and proper curtsey, directly towards the important people from Jjabak Pelajarang (Pejabat Pelajaran – State Education Department) and our headmaster on front row, center. Then the band started playing and I confidently glanced towards the door identified the day before. I looked, blinked, and looked again, there was no Cik Gu Samsu, not at that or any other door! Images of the other teachers swirled around in my head, Cik Gu Ramlah, Cik Gu Nik Lah, Cik Gu Hajjah, Cik Gu Wan Hassan, Cik Gu Hassan Sabri, Cik Gu Badaruddin….but where oh where was Cik Gu Samsu?

It must have been the first time I turned into stone. From somewhere far away I heard a faint “doong, doong, doong, cheay” I opened my mouth on the next crash of the cymbals but no voice came forth. I stood there transfixed, letting go of “doong, doong, doong, cheay” one after another until I heard the bald headed guitarist breathe down my neck “Nynyanying dderah ah Mek, bbunying macang reko’k buru’k doh ning” (Sing quickly, girl, we sound like an old record now). That made me jump out of my skin and I finally bellowed into the microphone, the guitars and the drums haphazardly trying to keep up with me for the rest of the song. It felt as if a whole year went by before the song came to its end, a close to tears curtsey, and off I went, down the stage through the nearest door, sobbing all the way home. But they did applaude, surely they did, for the entertainment value if nothing else.

Guess I got over the stage fright later on in my teenage years as I gave in to the cajoling of aunties and cousins into singing at weddings, usually after most of the guests had left, and I did come second in a school talentime. Still, I am happy to report that my career now is not in the performing arts or music. As happened this morning, the singing is confined to the kitchen and more often, the shower. And if you ever catch me singing a Karaoke, I’ll have you know that it is because, in some obscure way, my life depends on it.

Whisper

2008-05-15T16:26:00.043+08:00

This is not a whisper

neither is it a shout

can't say it will even tell

what it's all about

but pictures may prevail

where words do fail

yet the mind roams free

beyond all that the eyes see

still, do please stay a moment

or even a little while

and hopefully maybe

to the heart it will bring

a sincere smile

Thank you for the Carnations

2008-05-13T19:23:00.015+08:00

Mother's Day came and went so fast!

Aquan was the first with the wishes, on the dot at midnight. In the morning, or rather noonish, JJay did too. Next came a dozen smses from near and far; from my bosses and bosom buddies, and a sweet surprise from JJay's friend I have not met, incredibly sweet!

The biggest surprise though, was a bouquet of carnations, in my favourite colour, sent by my baby girl from over the oceans. And the card read:

To Maman

To my dearest Maman,

I love you forever and ever and ever and ever and

ever and ever and... oh yea, HAPPY MOMMY'S

DAY... and ever and ever and ever and ever and
ever and ever... You got the picture!!

From: xoxo, Chah

The evening saw me and JJay fulfilling our 7pm invitation, Aquan still had fever and stayed home. We arrived on the dot, right when the "caterer" was being summoned. But the catering was not topmost on our minds, it was little Amir Harith, my oh my, how he has grown, strong and handsome! He was playing with his Wan, refusing the new bottle offered him, preferring his old, more expensive one! Oh dear, did he get that from his Nyang? I pray no, not after me, but then, who?!

We all sat down to a lovely dinner from pizzaH; 3 mothers were guests of honour, queens for the day, honoured by daughters and sons, cucus and cicit! It was a simple dinner concluded with a durian cake for Wan and Nyang, and a mint chocolate one from Amir Harith to his Mama. Not sure if it was the food, I suspect it was more the company, or just the simplicity of it all that filled me with the warm glow inside. Thank you, Che Pah & Co, alhamdulillah.

Got home to more presents, a pair of froggy slippers from Aquan, my ever thoughtful middle child. All five of them are thoughtful, actually, so I was a little worried when there was no news from the trio in Doha...ah well, may be they don't celebrate Mother's day there...ah well....

Then it was time to go online, see if my Baby Girl would be there. Yes, she was waiting for me, demanding to know if I got her carnations!

Yes, Chah, got them, Chah, thank you so much Baby...Yes, love the colour, Chah, perfect, Baby, yes! was a real surprise, thank you!

We chatted for a bit, may be 2 minutes, then the questions came again...

Yes, really excited when I got them, Chah...really lovely...yes, will take some pics, but camera low batt...yes, I love you too, Baby, thank you!

Another 5 minutes about her coming exams, then...

Yes Chah, was really surprised! Yeah, really cute idea, yes, love the card too, yes, you are cute!...you took after me there, Chah...whew!

I really don't know who was happier about the carnations, the recipient or the sender! But that is my Baby Girl...

Mother's Day came and went, much too quickly, just like the phases of our lives as mothers; despite the responsibility of carrying and nurturing, despite the worries and the sacrifices, all too soon the time would come. They fly out of the nest, even if you never want to let go... and all you can do is wait for their calls, or call them often, or wait online. And if you are lucky, you get a bouquet of dark pink carnations on Mother's Day.

It Couldn't be Lovelier

2008-05-11T11:34:00.016+08:00

So I'm home from Geneva - been home for week, and how that week whizzed by! Recalling the trip now, must say, c'est on ne peut plus beau! Since my last post from the G-lounge, this is how it went.

The flight was at most uneventful. Stowed the hand luggage as usual; said Hi to the person in the aisle seat; ate the satay, the fruits and whatever else on the tray; watched a movie, listened to Michael Buble, played sudoku and walked up and down the aisle until it was safe to ask for a chamomile tea that hopefully would make me fall asleep.

Did I say uneventful? Well, not exactly. I managed to spill a drink on the young man in the aisle seat, and that's a first. He said it was alright to my profuse apology and I left it at that. After all, he was going to smell of the strawberry yogurt drink when we land, incredibly sweet!

As expected, we ended up at an unidentifiable part of Heathrow. Told a fellow passenger that I was connecting at Tlima and he laughed, saying I had just kissed my luggage goodbye! Awww...that threw my jantung right onto the tarmac, but I said a little prayer, no, actually I zikir all the way to the gleaming Tlima transfer desk and the gate and even while munching on a tasteless cheese sandwich a la vol.

The flight to Geneve was really uneventful. But you know what they say about Murphy's Law...so as expected, I really did lose my luggage when we landed. So did about a dozen or so other fellow passengers who crowded the ground handler's office to fill the necessary forms. Ah well, there goes my maggie and serunding and kain batik and baju kerja and baju tidur... may be it will come on the next flight...may be, kalau ada rezeki....

There was a Free Tibet demonstration in front of the ONU, but Rue de Lausanne was deserted, well, it was Sunday.

I checked into the hotel explaining the absence of luggage but for the bloated document bag; and yes, that is the correct check-out date; the free flow of tres bien, Madame was getting on my frayed nerves.

It was not until I came back from the pasar minggu at Plainpalais and early dinner at Ali Hayder's did the reception tell me that my luggage was coming on the 7pm flight and would reach the hotel tennish. Whew! can look forward to maggie and serunding dinner tomorrow dan hari-hari berikutnya, alhamdulillah!

The April meetings were not as contentious as those earlier in the year, but they did spread out, and the weekend in between presented a very rare opportunity to drink in some sights. Made the most of le retour des beaux jours and went on a journey to the top of Europe...

And the fever rages on,

even on Jungfraujoch

.....and then there are the tulips of Morges

...and the sails....

and yes, hopefully this belated spring will blossom into a timely summer for the football fans.

The journey home began with an early taxi ride to the airport - very chatty driver - so full of praise for Malaysia...la bonne societe, tres amicable, pas fanatique...merci encore, well, he could be propping me up for a big tip!

In truth, I cannot say that the flight home was uneventful. There was an instance when the plane shook really hard and the entire cabin went into complete silence. My guess was may be we just dodged some part of Nargis; it was 2nd May and we were flying over the Bay of Bengal! Alhamdulillah, we touched down on the good solid earth of KLIA as scheduled. Luggage worries proven unfounded, 28 minutes on the ERL, then home sweet home. Encore, c'est on ne peut plus beau!

At the Golden Lounge

2008-04-20T01:03:00.002+08:00

This is the fourth time in the same number of months I am making my way to Geneva. Not that I make a habit of posting something each time I am at the Golden Lounge, but tonight...or today, rather, it is different. I got to Sentral and was told my flight would be delayed ...leaving at 2 am instead of 11.40pm...that's the next day, actually! So I made my way slowwwly to the ERL and went to the money changer, count my chnge slowwwly and ever so slowwwly trudged to Terminal C and the lounge.
Then the long, long wait at the lounge. I had an open sandwich of shrimp and honey mustard, some guava juice...then mango salad, pickles and olives... then ordered a latte while watching all the goings-on around me...till I almost fell asleep.
All the flights have been called, the one to Paris, then to Rome then the one to Frankfurt...then the one to Johannesburg, Cape Town and Buenos Aires...Hey, I've been on this one before, on our way to Santiago Chile...and it was a totally horrible flight because some travel agent screwed our booking and we flew economy AAALLLLthe way...yup, that was the trip that made me experience the life of a contortionist!
Awww...even the flight to Narita, to Soul, to Shanghai have been called...I've even been to the relaxation room which I have never had the time to do before...first the full body massage, then the shiatsu massage...now I am all refreshed and relaxed...but still no flight to London Heathrow.
I really hope this is not the beginning or worse things to come...insyaAllah not...I have been apprehensive since booking this flight...it will be the very first time I am connecting to Geneva through Terminal 5...yup, how many thousand missing baggage and miserable passengers?...really, really hope BA has finally got their act together...teething problems should not last a whole month, right...KLIA did it in less than a month, I think. The Brits should be able to do better...but then again, KLIA is now the best airport in the world...
I think the flight is being called now...better post this and get going...don't want to be famous and have my name announced!
Good to be back on my own page! heheheh!

Al Faatihah

2008-01-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

How did yesterday begin that it could end with so much courage and hope in the face of the sadness of losing a friend? Let me try to recall.

The phone rang and a vaguely familiar voice answered when I breathed my hello. Have not heard this voice for more than four years, have not seen the face for more than a decade, may be.

_The first phone call_

Hey, still remember my voice!
Yes, face not so sure!
Need your help with my late wife’s business.
Help, sure, can try….wait a sec, late wife?? What happened? Innalillaahi wainna ilaihi raaji’uun.
Can I tell you later? Know anybody in… think you can help get an appointment with… can I have your mobile number? Will miss-call you…will sms the business details…
Ok.

_end of first conversation_

I sat down momentarily stunned, then wondered how my childhood friend’s wife could have been taken away, leaving behind their four children, their sweet, happy life.

The next half hour was a finger shortening exercise, making calls and calls and calls. Too many people at meetings; too many people outstation; some telephones not answered even after the tenth ring! Must mention to Tan Sri!

Then it was time to go for my discussion.

_The second phone call_

Got anything?
Nope, nobody around, haven’t given up, though…
I’m here for an appointment they fixed, and they are not around!
Typical!

_silence_

So aren’t you going to tell me what happened?
Well, it was lung cancer…she fought for more than a year…looked after her till the end…I think we should go for lunch…
Friday prayers?
Musafir.
Don’t think I can, big meeting at three, need to go through my notes. After office would be too much of a rush…
Dinner, then? After maghrib?
OK.
Got any friend I can date? Don’t forget you are talking to a widower!
OK.

_end of second conversation_

He was trying so hard to make me think he was his old jovial self. That I could tell he was trying made me even sadder than I already was after hearing the news.

I finished my discussion then went to work on the afternoon meeting well into the long lunch break. Had to try hard to concentrate, the thought of my dear friend and his children braving the despair of a loved one’s terminal illness filled me with self reproach. If nothing else, I could have called; I could have visited; I could have said a prayer.

_The third phone call_

Sri Ayuthaya, can?
Of course. Can I be a bit late? Am still at the office, meeting just over.
Why work so hard?
I’m a Sidek Hassan disciple, I deliver before someone else deliver for me.
The place is casual, don’t dress to kill!
The shape that I am now, the dress won’t kill, laughter might.

_Chuckle_

Heard you now resemble an oil drum! I’m equally bad. Never mind, my sons will be there, need to catch up with them.
OK.

_end of third conversation_

From where I was standing, the three men on the veranda looked like any father-and-sons-only dinner party when mother and daughter are off shopping or enjoying a girls’ night out elsewhere. There were smiles, but I knew better, and may be I saw a little bit more. There was a veil of silent pain hanging in the air when the conversation drifted to the time arwah had first complained of severe backache, then the numerous tests and the dreaded diagnosis.

The next year of their life was a study in self sacrifice from the entire family. Arwah’s eldest son resigned from his job in KL to go home and take care of the family business while his father stayed by his mother’s side. The treatment began, the number of hospitals increased as did the number of doctors while the doses of medication multiplied. And all the while, arwah put up the final fight for her life, until she was too weakened by the after effects of her treatment and the unstoppable disease. She suffered so much in her last days that in their own words, her husband and children just wanted to let her go, so she would at last find peace.

Allah Almighty, what gentle words, what soothing comfort could I offer them? I went home to shed my own tears, sat alone in the dark and found this sms on my phone.

“Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary,

For everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,

Love generously,

Care deeply,

Speak kindly…..

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.

It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

I know, only those who have struggled and pulled themselves out of their own desperate helplessness are really able to understand the true meaning of these simple words.

Al Faatihah.

No'k Kkabor Sse

2008-01-10T11:06:00.000+08:00

Today is Ma'al Hijrah, the first day of Hijriyyah 1429, and I'd like to wish everybody A Happy New Hijriyyah Year, may all your hijrah be for the better, Aamiiin. Thank you Mad Redo1 for your kind wishes too!

So today, being a brand new day of a new year or the tenth day of a still new 2008, let me start again from the beginning.

This past month I have been reading Awang Goneng's Growing Up in Trengganu (GUiT), finishing the whole book in a day, then reading it all over again slowly, aloud, savouring every word in each and every expression of his Trengganuspeak. The writing of Che' Awang Goneng (it is impolite not to use Che' when referring to someone by name, do'k ggitu?) brings me back to the richness of life in Trengganu then; the memories made more vivid by Che' Awang's authentic Trengganuspeak of old, teganung peka't; the language with all its nuances in exactly the way it was in my childhood too.

I could go on forever on what a beautiful piece of work GUiT is, and what a wonderful writer Che' Awang is, or has always been if like me, you have been reading the NST articles by a certain Wan Ahmad Hulaimi in London, but let me just make a confession here that GUiT and Kecek-Kecek for that matter, has inspired me to channel some of my laptop time into writing (or typing as opposed to clicking the mouse on spider solitaire!) and thus, this blog was born, through my one and only other post on the last day of 2007. I am hoping that Che' Awang finds this admiration another compliment and will gently rein me in should the lines between influence, immitation and plagiarism become too much of a blur.

My other inspiration is of course Kak Teh; that long letter to her Sayang Mamas was simply beautiful, and to think, yours truly was there at the Bangsar reading too. For me, it was really a memorable first meeting with Kak Teh who kindly co-signed my GUiT after Che' Awang did. No, I am not that lady who bought ten copies, only managed to grab five!

Thank you again for the autograph
...a most appreciative fan...

Doh ggitu ah, no'k gi dok ddapor pulo'k!

C'est La Vie

2008-01-01T00:36:00.000+08:00

This is the last day of the year, and tonight its last night. On TV, the news is still full of Benazir Bhutto, killed three days ago and her 19 year old son sworn in today to take over her party chairmanship. Next door, my neighbour and his much extended family are having their annual dinner, chatting, laughing and making merry, the children playing with balloons, sparklers and fire crackers.

A year ago today, another leader also fell. A brief recital of the shahadah and Saddam Hussein was no more. But the TV is saying black gold production in Iraq has gone back to normal, close to the level before the war, contributing much to the country’s annihilated economy. As the world awaits the new price with bated breath, I cannot help but wonder, this black gold, to whom does it belong, really? What use Is it now to the Iraqis who have been liberated without realising that they needed to be?

Bilawal Bhutto Zardari is on TV again, a spitting image of his mother, so young, still in university, already ensured of a place in the history of his country. It makes me wonder if our own young people would so willingly take over the business of the family, be it politics, commerce or even the most trivial of trivialities. Take my own children for example. True there is no family business to inherit, but not one of them would even consider the career that I chose. Not for them is the life of a fonctionnaire, no Siree!

And tonight, as I watch the red, blue, purple and green balloons drift into my side of the fence, I think of my children and New Year eves of the past, when we could be together, before they became old enough to go celebrating with their friends and special persons, before studies or work take them so far away from home. New Year eves were always a together time, for partaking of a somewhat special dinner at home, then a slow drive to see the lights before the show of pyrotechnics.

Some years a long time ago, we watched the fireworks from the playground on the hill in Sri Gombak or join the crowd at Padang Merbok with a picnic of KFC. Later on, we avoided the traffic jam and watched from the comfort of our window at home or our neighbour’s garden in Setiamurni. Then once from the top floor launderette of Building 11, Peabody Terrace, looking out along the Charles River all the way to Boston Harbour. The next time we could all be together was in Singapore; we watched the sophisticated display on the waterfront from our 25th floor living room, wondering if the show back home at KLCC was just as breathtaking. New Year eve 2006 my eldest got married while late last December Zachary arrived and the sparklers of New Year eve were dimmed by the sparkle in his eyes.

The time for resolutions is here. Mine are very simple. I will from now on make my children remember always where they come from and how important it is to be strong in conviction, to protect religion and country and be the ones to determine the course of its destiny. And though they go away far and often, wherever they are, they will make the effort and the time, so that being together in one place does not remain elusive to us for far too long now.

My neighbour and guests have started their Yaaaaaaaam Seng! The fireworks dazzling the night sky. Happy New Year Everybody! Time to turn in, then get up for tahajud and pray that we all remain resolute and there will be answers to all our prayers, aamiin!